Sometimes, no matter how hard, you need to let it go...

It turns out that my little taste of magic was confusing. My little taste of magic didn't go anywhere. I don't really understand what happened. The date he took me on was magic once again, it surprised me how relaxed we were in each others company, how natural everything was with us. There was talk of other things we needed to do together, other dates we would go on, but after goodbye things changed.


I didn't anticipate it at all. To me, everything was more perfect than I could have expected it to be. Every detail keeps running through my mind as to what I did wrong, why he doesn't seem to like me enough to want to get hold of me, to want to see me again as much as I want to see him.


The worst part of it all is that I thought I had finally gotten lucky. I thought that after all the trauma and heartbreak I had been through with guys that I had finally gotten lucky and found a great guy that treated me how I had always deserved to be treated. And now there is nothing and I am left so confused and worse off than I was before I had met him. 


I guess the lesson I learned is that magic, no matter how beautiful, is still a sacrifice. The sacrifice is to let every fear you have go and just enjoy the magic, but sometimes magic doesn't last as long as you think it will and you need to let it go, no matter how impossible it may seem. It's difficult to let something go when in your mind there is not enough reason to, when you still cling on to a tiny string of hope that things will suddenly change. The hardest part, is letting go of the hope.